30 in 30 for 30

Well... it's here. Another decade in the books.

Though these last thirty days driving through Proverbs has been fun, it's been one of the harder things I've done (learning dead languages rank higher...).

The book of Proverbs is not a list of predictions. They're proverbs. They're wise sayings and observations about life. I've read them a few times, and I learn new things every time.

These Proverbs address Wisdom and Folly. Yeah, I've mentioned that a lot. But then, I stumble into Proverbs 30. Agar, the son of Jakeh, is someone we don't know much about. What he does sound like is someone who's an everyman, somewhere in the middle between Wisdom and Folly:

"I am weary, God, but I can prevail. Surely I am only a brute, not a man; I do not have human understanding. I have not learned wisdom, nor have I attained to the knowledge of the Holy One." v. 1b-3
"Two things I ask of you, LORD; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God." v. 7-9

I am weary.

I've been in the middle of a betrayal in a church, which led to its doors being closed. For awhile, I lost hope.
I've had some friends die too young. Death is a horrible, unnatural thing.
I've seen students turn away from Jesus.... hard. My heart aches... longs... yearns... for them to return to the cross.

And yet, here I am. Jesus sustains me fully when I am in despair.

Maybe I'm being overly dramatic.

It's really easy to look back on 30 years and feel like you haven't done much. Social media doesn't help. You see your friends either getting married, popping babies, getting promoted, growing in ministry. It's really hard to not compare yourself.

But, as I continue to be more self-aware, Jesus reminds me of the joys He has given to me:
- A family who loves and supports me.
- Amazing friends, both near and far, who love and affirm me, despite my best efforts to deflect their compliments.
- Fellow ministry brothers and sisters who are being lead by the Spirit in radical, world-changing ways.
- Former students who are leaning into the difficult life that is following Jesus. That warms my heart.

I could spout 30 words of wisdom on what I've learned in 30 years, but my friend Tyler Braun (a better writer with more clarity than myself), did a fine job.

Here's a few of my own:

- Rest. Don't underestimate taking a Sabbath, a period of rest. God gave it to us as a gift. We should use it.

- Ask honest questions. Give honest answers. Be truthful. People within the Body of Christ are more merciful than you realize.

- Slow down. Take in the experience. Remember the details. I'm amazed how much little emotions, small details, and facial expressions, bring out the richness in recalling stories and ideas.

- Grow. I may be an overgrown child, but maturing is essential. It's a weakness as I sometimes forget to stop joking around. Nevertheless...

- Be joyful! You live once. But don't make that an excuse to throw it away carelessly. Live a life worthy of Jesus, who is, himself, a joyful person.

Cheers, Twenties. You've been formative. And memorable. And painful.

And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

29 in 30 for 30

"When the righteous thrive, the people rejoice; when the wicked rule, the people grown." v. 2

"The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern." v. 7

"If a king judges the poor with fairness, his throne will be established forever." v. 13

I've never ruled a kingdom. Have you? The closest I've ever gotten was the Kingdom of Hyrule (if you don't get that reference, you're dead to me).

Proverbs 29, as I've quoted above, has a few things regarding the rule of kings. Now, in our context it's hard to equate the meaning of kingdoms since we live in a democracy. The people have the power to vote and all that jazz. This is continued in Proverbs theme of living in Righteousness/Wisdom or Folly/Wickedness. These are proverbs of observation of what we all see in the world on our smart phones or computers or television screens every day: The results of following the path of wickedness/foolishness.

- The ISIS situation
- The revolution in Ukraine
- Broken systems of government, including our own
- Trails left behind from murders, and victims of sexual abuse
Yes, the list continues to grow.

What does this have to do with kingdoms? Well, first, that list of atrocities that happen across the globe? No one in their right mind approves of such things, except for the "...bloodthirsty hate a person of integrity and seek to kill the upright." (v. 10)
Coming from an Evangelical Christian point of view, we as believers mourn these evils just as much as the next person. We should not take delight in any person who suffers or dies, no matter who that person may be. Those are unnatural things.

Ultimately, I believe the Kingdom of Jesus will redeem all things. He will rule with a just and fair hand. When we feel like we're fighting a losing battle against injustice:

"The poor and the oppressor have this in common: The LORD give sight to the eyes of both." v. 13

This should reassure the oppressed that justice will come. This should also serve as a warning to those serving the kingdom of darkness that their time is running out!

In the Kingdom of Jesus, which we as Christians are to represent while on earth, means we seek to better the world around us, because Jesus seeks redemption of all things. We are to love one another, as the music video suggests. But I would go one further on the "Kite String."

This wisdom we've been reading about in Proverbs? It's the string that ties us. The wisdom of God that created the universe and the resurrecting power of the Spirit of God, who resides in us, is the string that ties us.
We are only free in the way God sees fit. He's God. Who are we to argue what freedom really means? He wants us to follow the heart, soul, and mind of Christ because being in unity with God is the very reason we were created!

I look forward to the day we can soar, freely worshiping and fellowshipping with the One who has known be before I was even in my mother's womb.

29 years, 364 days, 14 hours, 53 minutes.... that seems like awhile.


But eternity, freely being a son of God, will be longer... and much better. May the string that holds me never be snapped.

28 in 30 for 30

I'm a stubborn person.

In fact, all of us are pretty stubborn.

We're creatures of habit.
We don't like change.
If something changes, we complain a lot (see Facebook's reformats the last few years).
If we say we aren't stubborn, we're being stubborn about not being stubborn.

While working for a interior signage company, my stubbornness was addressed early on. I don't like to multitask. If I'm given a job or task, I don't like to be interrupted. I like getting in a groove. The requirements of the job, however, needed me to be able to drop something quickly to help my co-workers with a more demanding project or simply a task that needed more than one person.

I was interrupted all the time. I hated it. I don't like "time-is-money" mentality.

Over the 6 years I worked at the shop, I got accustomed to the rhythms of the job. I think I worked efficiently for the most part. I had my groove.
But once in awhile, when either my boss or my co-worker came up with a better, more efficient idea to help with workflow, I always resisted, thinking that my way is better.

This happens in life ALL THE TIME. We ALWAYS think our way is better than someone else's.

This is the basis of our sin. We think we can do better than God, then epically screw up:

"Those who forsake instruction praise the wicked, but those who heed it resist them. Evildoers do not understand what is right, but those who seek the LORD understand it fully." - Proverbs 28:4-5

Because of the Fall of Adam and Eve, we're cut off. We were made to be in total union with God, in relationship with Him in the purest sense, but we rebelled instead.

Thankfully, because of Jesus, we have hope. Hope to be reunited with God again, counted as righteous before him.

But we'll stumble along the way.

"Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Blessed is the one who always trembles before God, but whoever hardens their heart fall into trouble." - v. 13-14 

As Christians, we are no longer defined by our sinful nature. We are created in the image of God! We are valued because we look like Him! But, we're still broken. We will continue to sin. We will trip and fall, like the lemmings in the cartoon.

But broken implies that we can be fixed. As believers, we need to kneel before Jesus daily. In addition, as mentioned yesterday, we aren't meant to be loners. We are to be in community as believers. When you read the New Testament, a proper English translation for the word "you" should be "y'all" (something Southerners got right), because our faith isn't supposed to be something you do alone.

Confess your lives in vulnerability towards one another. This blog has mentioned that several ways over and over. It's counterintuitive in our culture to "show our weakness." But God uses our weakness against those who claim to be strong. Jesus' Kingdom runs counterintuitive to ALL thoughts on what kingdom, power, and control intend.

In our weakness, we are to see in each other the kind of love Jesus has for us. The shame we carry, thinking we are not good enough, is rubbish in the eyes of the man who lifts up our chin and says, "you are mine."

Don't be stubborn. If that's not possible, then be stubbornly submissive to the awe-inspiring love and power of Jesus on the cross.

27 in 30 for 30

This picture reminds me of a couple of things this time of year:

1. This was the celebration of one of my best friends, Jeff, getting married. He's the guy wearing the backwards baseball hat. Yes, his wife allowed for some reason. This was two years ago.

2. These two guys were my roommates for a season while living in Newberg, Oregon while I worked in the next town over doing youth ministry and sign production (yes, that's a job, and I was good at it... mostly). This was around 2009-2010. The guy in the middle, Matt, was a random acquaintance from Jeff's work falling on hard times, so he randomly became our third roommate. Despite the randomness of it, he and I became very close friends.

3. I miss these guys like crazy.

"Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, an the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice." - Prov 27:9
"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." - v. 17

One of the hallmarks of my friendship, nay, brotherhood, with these two guys is that we all think very differently. Matt just became a lawyer and working with the state of Oregon on domestic issues. Jeff has been involved in social work with at-risk kids while studying church history and theology on top of getting a Masters in Counseling. And then there's me.
This friendship works because they both have unique ways of challenging me in life, faith, and shenaniganisms. There have been countless times when we've fought verbally, topics ranging from the ridiculousness of the Duck's uniforms (who wears booger green and urine yellow?) to various Atonement theories, and everything in-between.

They ask the right questions. And sometimes they'll stick their neck out and ask the dumb questions, because frankly, the obvious needs to be stated. They're willing to push into me, like a thorn, to get me to say what's really stirring in my soul.

Last night, there was a Men's ministry-type deal on Gordon-Conwell's campus. One of our professors, Jim Singleton, was our "guest speaker." In short, though he is a professor of Pastoral Leadership and Evangelism, he has been a pastor to many of the students here at GCTS. Last night, he addressed what it means to be a man in the church in light of the post-modern age.

Men have become isolated in the church. Looked down upon. The "Homer Simpson-ization" of men in the last 25 years has led them to become less spiritual leaders within the church. The numbers are overwhelmingly more women than men in church involvement. Now, this isn't an indictment on women. They are just as important to the Church. Nevertheless, Jim addressed some key issues about the wounds men hold:
- Our relationship with God. It's broken because of our rebellion, which is reinforced by the American mentality of individualism.
- Our relationship with our dad. It's a complicated relationship that has all sorts of awkward turns and expectations
- Our relationship with our mom. Same thing, though sometimes not as heavily associated.

What Jim was getting at was what are we doing to build support systems? Those three relationships are broken because we feel this shame and guilt for trying to repair them. There was a lot to unpack last night, and I could go on.

But Proverbs 27 reminded me of the relationships I do have, and how I value/invest in those relationships. The problem is that they're 3,100 miles away. It's hard to stay connected, especially when both Jeff and Matt are married men. It's just the way it is. Sure, we have phones, texting, e-mail, Facebook, etc., but I must stay connected to them deeply in order to retain this bond we have.

Who's your iron? What's sharpening you? What's poking at you in the right areas to get you to share your soul? God didn't make us to be alone. We're built for community. Use it.

26 in 30 for 30

This is my little brother, Uno.

Yes, he's a German Shepherd... with a Spanish name... owned by a Chinese family. We're diverse like that.

I love him. He's my buddy. I really wish I can have him with me at school, but I can't afford to keep him nor do I have the space to contain his energy.

He's over 2 years old, pure bred, and playful, active, and very friendly.

My mom is his primary caregiver. My dad got Uno for my mom for the purpose of keeping her company while he's on his long missions trips. My mom doesn't exactly share my enthusiasm for Uno, but she's warming up to the idea.

We all contributed, with the help of obedience school, training him. He knows how to sit, lie down, dropping items, heeling, fetch (though he gets bored of "fetch" easily). However, he loves pushing the boundaries with my mom. It's instinctual for him to see if he can be the Alpha male or head honcho of the family. Though he's much stronger than my mom, he clearly underestimates her powers. I know. I've experienced her powers.

Regardless of his training, he still does some pretty foolish things, as most dogs do. It's natural for him to do so.

I don't know why I'm thinking of Uno and this particular scenario when it comes to Proverbs 26. There are a few references to dogs, and they aren't exactly flattering allegories. When describing a fool, or one who follows Folly, they are, among other acute descriptions, "As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly." (v. 11)

This was an emphatic visual while at a youth camp in high school. While divided in teams, one of the games was to come up with an acted out miming of a Bible verse (I know, we're so edgy). One of my best buds was in the this group. While they performed, he was on his hands and knees crawling around. With a little bit of help from the camp kitchen/dishroom... yep, you guess it... they mimed Proverbs 26:11. It was gross.

I can't help but think that we do that, too. No, I hope none of you vomit then return to it to eat it up. That's straight up nasty.

What I'm saying is that we're foolish people. Old habits die hard. We return to the ugliness of our sin sometimes... and it makes us feel shameful. Back in ancient times, dogs were unclean and not looked upon as "household pets." We think that sometimes we just "fall" back into sin... we aren't responsible.
King David was a pretty wise person... yet clearly, he didn't "fall" into Bathsheba and "accidentally" kill her husband Uriah.
King Solomon was the wisest man on earth, bestowed the wisdom of the Lord. And yet, he gave into the world's ways of polygamy and the worship of idols. He didn't fall into it.

We're foolish people. We see it all the time all over the news every night.

And yet... for those who claim Jesus as their LORD, King, Savior.... we are no longer defined by our foolishness. We no longer bear the guilt, as Jesus took our sin on the cross! I'm grateful that God can call me His son, despite my foolishness, because he sees Jesus in me.

Foolishness makes us feel exactly that: foolish. Shamed. Despised. This is how the Enemy works. He isolates us, lies to us, and then comes down on us with a hammer.

But know this: If you know Jesus, and you declare Him your Lord... He has you. And He won't let go.

That's not foolishness.... that's grace.

25 in 30 for 30

"Having a public faith means not retreating into Christian subculture. Instead have friends who are not just Christians." - Timothy Keller

A little background about myself:
- I grew up in a Christian family. Both of my parents and all my siblings and bro-in-laws are Evangelical believers
- I attended Cornerstone Christian School for Kindergarten, then attended Portland Christian Schools from 1st grade  all the way through high school.
- Through middle school and high school, I was highly involved with my church youth group, as a regular attender and as a student leader.
- I went to George Fox University, a contemporary Quaker Christian liberal arts school in Oregon, majoring in Christian Ministries.
- I did youth ministry with Willowbrook Free Methodist Church, in affiliation with a local YMCA, then with Countryside Community Church, all in Sherwood, Oregon. Along the way I've worked alongside workers with YWAM (Youth with a Mission) and Young Life (a parachurch youth ministry).
- Now, I'm working on getting a Masters of Divinity from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, one of the top Evangelical higher education institutions in the country training up pastors, preachers, teachers, counselors, missionaries, and religious academics.

(To answer your questions[s]: Yes, I've known some people for over 20 years. I'm old. And yes, I love the Pacific Northwest... because it's the best)

Noticing a trend?

I've been in a Christian environment for most of my life. Most would argue, rightly so, that I've been in a Christian bubble for a majority of it.

Thankfully, many of you, both Christian or not, have pulled me out of that bubble over the years.

Yes, many jokes can fly from sheltered children such as myself who've never been exposed to the "horrors" of public school. At least I wasn't home-schooled, right?

However, this trend was something I saw as a youth leader. So many students were involved in church, youth group, FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes), Young Life, and a host of other Christian-related activities, on top of school, sports, friends and family. Wow, makes my head spin just thinking about it.

Proverbs 25 is a call back to Proverbs 10-22, with short, great pearls of wisdom and observation of how things are when you follow Wisdom/Righteousness or Wickedness/Folly. Yet, this chapter is on the heals of the Thirty Sayings of the Wise, which from my post two days ago is modeled after Egyptian wisdom. Chapter 25 was "compiled by the men of Hezekiah king of Judah (25:1). In this chapter, the allegory of consuming honey appears a few times. The gist of the honey allegory is this: consume some, but not too much, or it'll consume you.

I think this is the connection. Wisdom, ultimately, comes from God, but that doesn't mean everyday life and people can't share some healthy, good wisdom as well.

There are a number of people in my life who definitely do not believe what I believe. Because of this fact, they've helped challenge my faith. Their observations created a desire for me to dig further, not into doubt, but quite the opposite.

Paul commissioned us to be "in the world, not of it." (Romans 12:1-2)
Jeremiah told the Israelite exiles to contribute to the well-being of the city of Babylon. (Jeremiah 29)
Jesus engaged everyone he encountered, and challenged the religious to think harder and dig deeper.

This Proverb reflects this: the wisdom you seek ultimately comes from God, but don't be surprised if it comes from other places. Just don't mistake them for God as well, for He made all things.

I hope all followers of Jesus don't hide themselves from the world. We are to be in it. We are to engage it. Be challenged by it. And love the lost as Jesus loves us.

24 in 30 for 30

"Another one bites the dust."

I know. It's the title to a classic Queen song, but that's not what I'm talking about.

This phrase has stuck in my mind because someone said this to me, with a smile on their face, after Ted Kennedy died.

Disclaimer: I'm not politically inclined. I know, I should probably be a little more invested informing myself on what's going on in the country where I live, but I'll be like, "I love chickens," too. Not very useful.

The reason why "another one bites the dust" stuck in my brain was because this individual had so much glee in it. Yes, Ted Kennedy doesn't exactly scream out "saint." To say he's had a questionable morality in his political career is putting it very lightly... all circumstantial of course. But... someone died. Death is not something to be celebrated.

Look, I know I'm probably digging myself a hole several people want to put me in, but we all know it: We're highly annoyed by the political rants, messages, audio/video clips, because if I'm allowed to be honest, you're just tooting your own horn. Then the social media arguments happen, and then it just goes downhill from there.

"Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the LORD will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from them." - Proverbs 24:17-18

From that particular day when Ted Kennedy died, it's been in my brain because this individual, a brother in Christ, seems to have his priorities backwards, in my mind.

Most political frustrations I've seen on social media or the sarcastic remarks heard among friends about the political climate seem to be in the same way. I always think, "where exactly does your heart lie? Where's your hope found?"

Is our American government broken? Yes, and I think everyone agrees. But from what I've seen on either side "of the aisle," there's either an over reliance on the government to fix things, or remove the government control and hand it back to the people (translation: individualistic freedoms to do what you want).

If you're a believer, do you pray for those whom you disagree with politically? Let's go one step further... do you pray WITH them? How can you? You disagree with each other. You probably shouldn't even be in the same room! But that kind of reminds me of other people who shouldn't be in the same room:

The Church.

The Church is the most diverse group of people you'll ever encounter. If you gather every true follower of Christ around the world, you'll be all over the map; politically, culturally, etc.

The priority of the Church is my concern. We've been commissioned to spread the Gospel. The Good News. To all corners.

The challenge is this: If we're so tied up in making sure our political, legalist, or chocolate-milk-on-Friday agenda becomes reality, does that mean the Kingdom of Jesus takes a back seat?

I mourn a little for my friend who made that statement regarding Ted Kennedy, because that kind of attitude completely undermines his witness to others. Look, there are times where our speech must be convicting and correct wrongs that are against God's design. I'm all about that. Jesus was, too.

Think and act with wisdom... the whole point of the Gospel according to Proverbs. Everyone deserves an opportunity to know what Jesus is like, and you might be the only opportunity for them to get a glimpse.